Admitting that we have a problem with substance use or are suffering from a mental health disorder can feel alienating and scary for anyone. The idea of treatment can be especially scary when you are young and may not feel entirely sure of the severity of your disorders or usage of drugs or alcohol. You may often hear that you are just “going through a phase” or even things like “You’ll feel better about things as you age, you’re so young, you have time.” As well-intentioned as people may be when they say these things, the truth is that these words can feel invalidating. When you question whether or not you need help navigating through certain harmful behaviors, you may choose to err on the side of caution by honoring those feelings.
It’s hard to get help, but it can be much more exhausting if you feel unsupported, especially if you think you haven’t reached the types of “bottoms” typically associated with people older. The truth is, you don’t have to be a certain age to qualify for help of any kind when you find yourself hurting. Here are some things you can remember to help you when feelings of self-doubt occur while attempting to get treatment for your drug or alcohol use or mental health disorders.
It can be easy to push aside how you feel when questioning if you’re engaging in behaviors that are detrimental to your health and overall well-being. This is especially true when you have other people like friends and family telling you that what you are doing is normal. Remember, if something is making you uncomfortable, it may be time to look at the problem and see if something needs to be addressed. You are the only one who can decide to seek out help for your ailments, and you have the power to change the trajectory of your life regardless of other people’s opinions.
You may sometimes find yourself needing to set boundaries with your loved ones who might feel as though you’re “being dramatic” by admitting that you need professional help. Even though that person may mean well, it is still okay for you to set clear boundaries. These are some phrase that you can say when dealing with these types of situations:
It is important to set firm boundaries that also use empowering language. For example, instead of saying, “Thank you for your input, but I think I should get help,” you can say, “Thank you for your input, but I know I should get help.” This way, your words are still polite yet strong, which will help make your boundaries that much clearer. Of course, should anyone push against the boundaries you have set, it is okay to create distance between yourself and that person. You deserve to have your boundaries respected, especially when you may be feeling vulnerable.
Grounding and meditation can seem like an odd coping skill while making such a decision for yourself, but both can help you shut out external noise to focus on your internal world. It can be off-putting to imagine yourself sitting quietly and in stillness, as this method may not work for everyone; however, getting to know what works for you is an essential tool that you can come to rely on later in your healing journey. You may get mental images of people sitting cross-legged on the floor with their eyes closed when you think of meditation, but there are multiple ways to do this practice. Some that may work for you are walking in nature, dancing, walking barefoot through the grass, free-writing (writing without stopping or erasing), or making a pros and cons list, i.e., “pros and cons of asking for help.” This type of list can help make a visually clear description of what may be keeping you from seeking treatment.
If you are wondering if your behaviors are causing harm to yourself or others, it can be challenging to admit you need redirection in the form of professional help. Shame often plays an intense role in these feelings and can keep you in a state of mind that tells you that you are unworthy of help because of the pain you’ve caused -- whether intentionally or unintentionally. You are not a bad person; you just need support. You should hold space for yourself in a way that can promote healing. Calling yourself “evil,” “stupid,” or worse can create barriers around you that can keep you from getting the help that you need and are worthy of having.
Nobody can talk us into treatment, and nobody should talk us out of it either. We are typically the ones who decide when to get help for ourselves. We know that our lowest points do not have to mirror others. We know that suffering alone doesn’t have to be our reality. There is help. Located in Boulder, CO, NorthStar Transitions has multiple programs designed for anyone with or without a dual diagnosis. We offer programs specifically geared towards young adults and provide various levels of treatment to fit the needs of our clients. Whether you are new to treatment, coming back after a relapse, or just need some extra support, we have a safe place for you. If you or anyone you know is struggling with substance use or co-occurring disorders and are fearful of taking the first steps to freedom, we want to hear from you. Call us today at (303) 558-6400.
