Many emotional stresses come to relationships when substance use becomes a dependency for one or both partners. Relationships and addiction recovery deal with different emotional topics that are hard to address when your spouse or loved one is struggling every day. If you're wondering if you can help your spouse find the will to go through addiction recovery, there is help available.
Having an intimate relationship with someone who has substance use disorder may not be easy. Many couples find they have relationship concerns when substances are part of the equation. Stress levels can ripple throughout the relationship and affect the partner of a substance user as well as the one using.
The stresses may prompt arguments and emotional breakdowns between friends, coworkers, relatives, and children. Having a spouse who struggles with substance use can be even more difficult, especially when all you want to do is find a way to help them or guide them to the will to go to addiction treatment.
Playing the blame game or making your spouse feel uncomfortable is not the way to get them to help themselves. Pushing them into treatment may end up being counterproductive. While you love your spouse unconditionally, there are ways to guide your loved one toward treatment successfully.
If you have a partner who struggles with substance use, you may experience constant fights, tension, and conflicts because of substance use as part of your relationship. This vicious cycle makes it more challenging to find ways to encourage a recovery journey or influence change for the better.
Relationships might go through the vicious cycle of substance use. When a conflict or tension arises, it can cause your spouse to turn to their substance of choice. Being in a relationship with someone who struggles with substance use is a tricky and sticky situation. However, you're not alone.
If your partner battles with substance use disorder, there are telltale signs that signal dangerous actions and ways that you can create barriers to help protect yourself and your spouse at the same time. The first step is to understand if the substance use harms your relationship. Substance use may be harming your relationship if your partner exhibits a lack of responsibility, financial fluctuations, emotional episodes, volatile situations, isolation, and increased stress levels. These things may become a danger to you if left unchecked. Your job as a spouse is to encourage your partner to find the will to go to addiction recovery while holding firm boundaries and not allowing substance use to create hostile situations.
Substance use can alter mindsets and change the neurological functions of perception and behavior. When individuals are dependent on substance use, they may not be aware they have an addiction or might be in denial. This means you may have to use some tact and a gentle hand to help them understand that there is a problem, that the problem affects your relationship, and you want to help them get better.
The first thing to do is to avoid pushing any additional stressors on your spouse. Stress augments vulnerability to substance use and can dramatically increase the underlying root cause of addiction. The next step is to reach out to a professional addiction specialist who can guide you through different techniques and strategies based on your situation. Lastly, create boundaries take care of yourself so that, though you show your willingness to help, you don't end up carrying the full emotional burden of the situation.
According to an article on chronic illness and vulnerability from the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, adaptive learning and impulse control were negatively associated with addiction and increased pressure. Furthermore, the study showed that levels of stress and cravings correlated to poor behavior and emotions. What this means for you as the spouse of someone who struggles with substance use is that influencing or encouraging stressful situations can activate a negative stress response and further progress substance use.
If you want to promote healthy lifestyle change for the treatment of your spouse, identifying stressful situations before or during a crisis can better protect you and your loved one. Stress revolves around many challenging problems and can be based on perception, response, mindset, and external stimuli. This may mean you have to do some work and make adjustments to your lives. While you cannot do the work of addiction recovery for your spouse, you can pick up some slack elsewhere to help make the journey easier for them.
Similarly, if your spouse's treatment program prescribes exercises or “homework” activities to keep them on track, try doing those things with them. This will encourage them to keep up with the work, bond the two of you, and show that you're ready to be actively involved in the process.
At NorthStar Transitions, we want you to have healthy coping mechanisms in your relationship that are practical and easy to implement when you have a spouse who struggles with substance use. There are healthy ways to handle stressful situations and encourage a stronger will and motivation for your loved one to get treatment. We offer evidence-based treatment options to help your spouse recover, such as meditation, therapy, experiential therapies, and more. Our treatment enables you to reconnect and rebuild your marriage after dealing with substance use. If you or your loved ones struggle with substance use and are looking for a way to promote motivation and help with addiction recovery, we can help you change how you think about stress and find the resources and support you and your spouse need. For more information on how you can help your spouse go through addiction recovery, reach out to NorthStar Transitions at (303) 558-6400.
