How Do I Tell My Loved Ones I Am Struggling With Addiction?

Struggling with addiction can leave you feeling lost, ashamed, isolated, and embarrassed. Admitting you need help to yourself is hard enough without having to say it to someone else. However, discussing your problems with another person is the best way to ensure you get the help you need. You are not admitting defeat or exposing yourself by telling someone else about your addiction. Chances are, those around you already have an idea that something is wrong. By telling someone else you are currently struggling, you can get the help and support you need to begin recovery. Consider these tips when you are ready to tell someone you are struggling with addiction.

Be Direct and Express Your Need for Help

When approaching a subject as complicated as addiction, it is vital to clearly express what you are asking of the other person. Tell them you want to discuss something you have been struggling with and then clearly state what it is. The person cannot read your mind and, therefore, benefit from your being direct as you reach out to them for help. It can also be confusing for the other person to hear of your struggles and not know if you want advice, support, or just an ear to listen. By expressing your need for help and what you are looking for, they can be prepared for the conversation to come. You should also keep in mind their mental health and current state of mind; they may not be in the place to hear what you have to say. Being direct will help you both know if this is the right time and place for the conversation so you can benefit from it without putting someone else at risk.

Be Honest

Sharing your struggles with drug and alcohol addiction can be intimate. You may feel embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, or even angry at yourself for the situation you are currently in, but this doesn’t mean you should lie or omit any essential details. The person you are asking for help cannot adequately help you if they don’t know the whole story. Tell them how you are feeling and exactly what you have been experiencing. When you do this, you will help them understand what you are going through and give them the proper tools to help you. 

Explain Why You Are Choosing Now

The person you are telling may already have an idea that you have been struggling, or they may be questioning why you suddenly want to seek help now. By discussing how you came to this decision and why now is the right time, they can have a better idea of your mindset and what led you to this decision. Giving them an explanation can help alleviate any skepticism and help them know that you are serious about seeking help.

Directly Ask For Their Support

Remember that the person you are talking to won’t know what you want or expect from the conversation unless you tell them; people are not mind readers. Addiction can be a delicate topic for some people, and they may not know how to respond. By directly telling them that you want their support and explaining why it is crucial, they will most likely be more inclined to offer it. While directly asking for support, this is also the time you should begin discussing treatment options and ask if they will help you research them. Then, the two of you can help decide on which is best for you and your needs.

Don’t Feel Ashamed

Feelings of shame and embarrassment are not uncommon when telling someone about your addiction. However, you shouldn’t look at this situation as you being a bad person or in the wrong. You are brave for asking for help and admitting that you are struggling. It takes a lot of guts to accept where you are and decide you want to move forward with your life. It is also crucial to remember that your loved ones will most likely want to help you get better. Remember this throughout the conversation.

Prepare for the Worst

The person you have chosen to reach out to may have been hurt by your actions during your struggles with active addiction. For this reason, they may be hesitant to discuss the subject with you or believe that you really want help. They may approach the situation with anger, defensiveness, and even skepticism. While you want to expect a positive response, it is best to prepare for this outcome in case it does happen. Just remember to acknowledge their feelings and don’t give up hope on healing.


Reaching out for help for addiction is a significant step towards recovery. It is one thing to admit that you need help to yourself, but to tell someone else can be a nerve-wracking situation. By having some idea of how to handle the conversation, you can make the best decision for you and your needs. Always remember, you are not a bad person for struggling, and you’ve now made the decision to move forward. If you are struggling with reaching out for help concerning addiction, NorthStar Transitions is here to help. Our facility is dedicated to getting individuals the help they need. We have expert staff to help you navigate real-life recovery through a variety of treatment modalities for every need and preference. We believe in working somatically and experientially to help our patients not only achieve sobriety but maintain it for the long term. Call us today to learn more about the NorthStar difference at (303) 558-6400. Don’t put off recovery; take the first step at NorthStar.


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