When reentering society after treatment, you may find that some things are difficult for you, like how to handle going to family functions and how to reengage with friends. What can sometimes lie underneath these difficulties is resentment or jealousy, mainly because they can drink and you cannot.
These feelings get easier over time, but the first few times you go to an event where drinking occurs or see a friend who drinks, you may feel overwhelmed. This feeling can manifest in different ways—sometimes it can be isolation, other times it might be anger. There are things you can do in these situations that may help ease some of your feelings of resentment and jealousy.
These feelings can lead to some bad consequences. First, they are bad for your mental health which is something that may grow worse over time. Second, it could lead to you becoming a dry drunk.
Being different may not always be the easiest pill to swallow, but you have to remind yourself that your brain does not work the same way as other people's. Most people can stop after one drink, you cannot. This in and of itself is one of the major determining factors between people who do and do not suffer from substance use disorder (SUD). While it may be difficult, remind yourself that your brain has a dysfunction in the prefrontal cortex that makes you act differently and detrimentally in response to consuming alcohol.
When you go to a party, concert, or something along those lines, take a moment to observe your surroundings, or “people watch.” Notice how sloppy they get after a couple of drinks. Notice the poor decisions they make. You may be reminded of the reasons you got sober.
Observing can be hard when you are in early recovery. You might be triggered by seeing others get drunk. If this sounds like you, have an exit strategy. If the moment becomes too overwhelming, make sure you have a way to step outside and collect yourself or just leave and go home.
There is nothing wrong with removing yourself from a toxic situation. Your sobriety is your number one priority. Everything else is second because everything else can be lost if you relapse. If you are in a triggering situation, communicate to others that you are overwhelmed and let them help you.
This is a crucial piece of advice when it comes to being in these situations. As mentioned earlier, there are a lot of different feelings that can arise from being around casual drinkers. Understanding your limits and what constitutes a need to leave a situation is crucial.
Holistic treatment is great in these situations because you do not always have access to your therapist or support group. Holistic practices give you ways to ensure your sobriety when clinical practices are unavailable. For example, going for a walk is a holistic healing technique and an easy way to get yourself out of a given scenario and clear your mind.
“Play the tape through” is an expression you can use when you are considering having a drink. In the moment you may think, “Oh it's just one drink. What harm can it be? My friends are doing it, why can't I?” It is at this moment that you should “play the tape through” and visualize in your head where this train of thought leads. When suffering from SUD, it does not stop at one drink. You will keep drinking and drinking, not just that time, but perhaps the next time and the one after that until you are back to needing treatment.
Try to convince yourself that drinking is not a good plan. You might find that when you “play the tape through,” the tape ends with death because, under the influence of alcohol, you could do something that might kill yourself or someone else.
This is not meant to be morbid by any means. This is meant to express the seriousness of what could happen when you reengage with a problem substance. It is not meant to scare you, only to illustrate the severity and power of “playing the tape through.”
In the early days of recovery, it can seem impossible to not be jealous of someone who can casually drink. That is okay, it is perfectly normal. What is important is what you do with those feelings.
You can either let them get the best of you, which leads down a very dark road filled with even more issues, or you talk yourself down. This will be difficult at first but over time, practicing these methods of de-escalation will not only strengthen your mental fortitude but it will make being around casual drinkers easier.
Trying to get a handle on your jealousy is difficult, especially when it comes to other people's drinking habits. You may feel that there is nothing you can do to overcome that resentment. That thought can in turn lead to a relapse if it goes unchecked for too long. You want to live a happy, healthy life, but you may not know how to get there. You may need help. NorthStar Transitions, located in Boulder, CO, is the place to find that help. We offer support for those who are having issues with substance abuse whether it is your first time in treatment or you're recovering from a relapse. If you or someone you know needs treatment, you want to do all that you can to help. You can take the first steps by calling us today at (303) 558-6400.
