Relapse isn’t necessarily a part of the plan, but occasionally it may happen. Relapse is hard when someone you love or care about is making progress and then regresses. You may not always understand or have guidance on what to do when relapse occurs with a friend or family member. When someone you love is going through a relapse, there are multiple things to keep in mind.
Reactions are instinctive actions or thoughts that we are born with. What you choose to do with your reactions will determine how successful the outcome is. In many relapse situations, trying to convince someone to get treatment is not always the best way forward. There are careful and subtle considerations to consider in your responses and reactions to a family member or friend who relapses.
Redirection is a good reaction, but it may not be fully effective in every situation. You may need to suggest that your loved one talks to a counselor or sponsor instead of attempting to shame them back into recovery. You can redirect intentions in a matter of words by letting them know that they are free to live life with addiction while also inviting them to reflect on their future choices and actions.
Remember to support a friend or family member who relapses. You are there to help them when they want to get help. You can remind them that help includes emotional support and communicative support. However, redirection also includes an awareness of what’s helpful and what’s not. For example, if your friend or family member who relapsed asked you to help them pay a bill, helping them could further enable that relapse instead of being helpful on their recovery journey.
Reactions are everything when it comes to a different family who relapses. Most individuals who struggle with addiction may find it easier to confide in friends or people they are not close with. Setting up boundaries and understanding the enabling factors toward beneficial health can set the tone for positive reactions instead of negative reactions.
Supporting someone in recovery or someone who relapses can start with a basic approach. If you address the situation with dismissal and guilt, you create an atmosphere of judgment and anger. This is counterproductive to the recovery process.
Someone who relapses needs support, love, compassion, acceptance, and care. When your efforts to provide support enable excuses or allow dismissal and guilt to build, the behavioral repercussions and the negative consequences become more likely. You can circumvent a relapse by finding ways to help them avoid their triggers and practice empathy.
When you understand their thoughts and emotions, that empathy helps alleviate chances of increased anger or sadness in and around those that relapsed. This shows them you care and support them on an individual level rather than pushing blame, dismissing the problem, or guilting them into going back to recovery.
Remembering no one is perfect is a key to overcoming failure. Words of encouragement help shift the focus of recovery. Your support goes a long way if it is directed correctly. If a family member or friend relapses, it’s important to remember that the previous treatment was not necessarily ineffective. The relapse may be a sign that they need a renewed mindset or focus. It is during this portion of the recovery process that boundaries need to be set into stone.
It’s also critical to not let them take advantage of your help. Remember to take care of yourself, too. Their choices may hurt you. However, being there and giving a helping hand with emotional and compassionate support indirectly helps them refocus their path of recovery without excuses or guilt. They need someone compassionate and caring, not someone who forces them into the recovery process. Positively utilize your support and remember you provide a huge helping hand to getting them back to being sober and staying sober in the long run.
The recovery of your family member or friend who relapses is a choice that they make, not a choice you make. If you went through recovery yourself, remember how you might’ve responded when you tried to avoid meetings or were forced to go to support groups. Your commitment to being sober and your participation in actively living a healthier lifestyle were successful. However, not everyone is the same in the recovery process. While you can support them in their struggles and potential relapse, at its core, it’s their battle, not yours.
Recovery is a lifelong process. Remembering that it’s going to have its ups and downs is a huge way to show support. Your friend or family member may relapse a few times before finding a stable method to keep them on track. Ensure your support is beneficial towards your loved one instead of enabling negative reactions. At NorthStar Transitions, we provide education for friends and family members of loved ones who may potentially relapse. If you feel that it is difficult to set boundaries and find the means to express support for your friend or family member who relapsed, reaching out to us today is your first step. We are here to help direct your loved one in the recovery process. Our goal is to be approachable and offer an environment that is comfortable to open up to for you, your friend, or your family member who might relapse. If you have questions or need additional assistance, contact NorthStar Transitions at (303) 558-6400.
