For some people, dating is a fun and exciting pursuit that allows them to meet new people and experience new things. However, dating can be a cause for anxiety for others. The stress of meeting new people, dating online, and making first impressions can be difficult to handle. That's one reason it's crucial not to start dating in recovery too soon.
You will inevitably experience many challenges upon completing an addiction treatment program. These challenges will cause added stress and pressure, making maintaining newfound sobriety more challenging.
Because of these challenges, professionals highly recommend that people wait before they start dating in recovery. That way, you can acclimate to your newfound life of recovery and create a solid foundation before exposing yourself to the added stresses involved with dating.
People experience all kinds of anxiety disorders, which can make managing substance use disorder (SUD) more challenging. Common anxiety disorders indicated by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), include:
Dual diagnosis treatment can help you learn how to manage your anxiety and addiction simultaneously. Eventually, you can gain practice and confidence in maintaining sobriety despite your anxiety and stress. In early recovery, however, it may be necessary to reduce your stress as much as possible.
Of all forms of anxiety, social anxiety can be particularly hard to overcome early in recovery. Individuals with social anxiety experience:
These symptoms can be very distressing. It is no surprise that people with social anxiety sometimes turn to drugs and alcohol to lower their inhibitions, calm themselves, or alter their behaviors. Initially, substance use can make a person more comfortable in these situations. However, it quickly leads to dependence.
Dating can be incredibly triggering for someone with social anxiety, especially if they are relatively new to recovery. Even people without a history of social anxiety may experience it when they start dating in recovery.
Engaging in social interaction for the first time outside of treatment can be anxiety-inducing alone. With dating, there's added pressure. The possibility of rejection, interpersonal conflict, heightened emotions, break-ups, and a reduced focus on sobriety are added stressors. These pressures aren't worth risking sobriety.
If you are eager to start dating in recovery, use that as motivation to build your foundation now. When you have progressed in your recovery, you will be more able to handle everything that comes with dating.
Today's culture doesn't make dating easy. Many people on the dating scene today don't know what they want. This makes it hard for individuals to open up, be vulnerable, and trust the intentions of the people they're dating. That's not even taking into account the added pressures of online dating.
Dating apps can make some aspects of dating easier. For example, people can connect with each other without having to leave their houses. However, this presents its own challenges. Online dating can make it hard to judge someone's intentions. There are also added risks of ghosting, catfishing, and other hurtful behaviors.
It is important to feel confident in your ability to manage complex emotions without relapsing before you start dating in recovery. Otherwise, as soon as things don't go as planned, your sobriety is at risk.
Everyone's struggle with addiction and recovery journey is unique. That means people in recovery will have different timelines for dating. The right time to start dating in recovery for you may not be the right time for your peers at NorthStar Transitions. However, there are some guidelines that may help.
Many professionals in the field encourage people to wait at least one year before they start dating in recovery. This gives individuals enough time to become more comfortable with the recovery. They will have a strong foundation before diving back into the dating world. Dating too soon can increase your chances of relapsing, falling into toxic relationships, or using new relationships to cope with bad habits.
Deciding to date in recovery shouldn't be a rash decision. Take time to think about the potential outcomes of dating and how your recovery will impact your dating life. Consider:
These are only a few things you should consider before jumping into the dating game. Many other considerations may apply to your specific situation.
As there's no one treatment method for addiction recovery, there's no one answer for when you can start dating in recovery. Yes, in theory, you can start dating as soon as you leave treatment, but doing so may not be prudent.
The best way to answer this question is to monitor your progress, reflect on your journey, and honestly say whether or not you feel your recovery is a strong place. If you have qualms about dating, discuss them with your therapist, support group, or other trusted confidantes. At the end of the day, you must answer the question for yourself and decide based on what's best for your recovery.
If you or a loved one is struggling to answer when you can start dating in recovery, contact NorthStar Transitions for additional help today.
Dating is tricky, even for people who don't have the added stress of managing recovery. Knowing when to start dating in recovery is challenging because of the many challenges accompanied by dating, especially in the modern world. Dating too soon after treatment can have many potential risks, such as increasing your chances of relapsing. However, there will always be risks associated with dating, especially if you're the type of person who experiences a lot of anxiety when it comes to dating and other social interactions. Thankfully, treatment, therapy, and other tools can help you manage the stresses of dating and tell you when the right time to start dating is. To learn more, call NorthStar Transitions at (303) 558-6400.
