In today’s day and age of social media and the mental health community, it is possible that you have heard the phrase “good vibes only” at least once. Usually a well-intentioned statement, it often does more harm than good. This is because the focus on only being positive does not leave room for negative emotions, which are completely healthy and normal. This culture often prompts people to push away or conceal their negative emotions. Doing this can have negative consequences over time. It is why toxic positivity must be avoided, especially for those coping with mental health disorders or that are currently in recovery from addiction. Knowing how to spot toxic positivity can help you avoid it and keep you from engaging in it yourself. This is how positivity can become toxic.
It is essential to be realistic when it comes to your emotions and how you display them. By continually forcing yourself to be positive, you ignore the fact that life is sometimes negative, and that’s okay. Life is meant to be full of ups and downs because that’s the journey. No person on this earth will be happy 100% of the time. The bad times teach us as much as the good times do, if not more. Therefore, ignoring them and forcing yourself to be positive causes you to miss out on life and its lessons. Sure, no one likes to feel down, but it is necessary from time to time.
Humans have negative emotions, and they have had them since the dawn of humanity. Stress, anger, fear, irritability, and many more negative emotions will occur throughout your lifetime. Trying to avoid these feelings will only make them grow stronger over time. This is why ignoring or avoiding negative thoughts and emotions is not recommended, as they may get worse over time until you are forced to deal with them.
The key to dealing with negative thoughts and feelings is identifying them, acknowledging them, and allowing yourself to feel them. By allowing them to pass, you do not give them any more credit or meaning than they should have; this will enable you to move on with your life freely.
When you enter into a space that does not allow for “negative vibes,” you are essentially walking into somewhere that you are not accepted as a whole. Many individuals that practice a “good vibes only” approach often shame those that fight against it for their mindset. However, this is more toxic than many people realize. By telling someone that they feel down because of their attitude, that person is essentially blaming them for external circumstances happening, overlooking any possible mental health disorders, and ignoring the humanity within you. Humans feel sad from time to time, and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or be kicked out of a space that does not allow you to express yourself freely. If you find yourself in that situation, it is best to leave the toxic environment and be on your own or with others that will support you.
When something bad happens to you, your friends and family may try to boost your mood by saying “stay positive” or “it could be worse.” While these statements are well-intentioned, they often make you feel worse.
The phrase “stay positive” is problematic because it overlooks your feelings and the right to feel down. Feeling sad, angry, anxious, or whatever negative emotion you are experiencing is a normal reaction to bad situations in your life. Sometimes these feelings appear out of nowhere, and that’s okay. You are allowed to be sad and take the time you need to cope with it.
On the other hand, saying “it could be worse” to someone going through a bad situation is basically telling them that their pain is there, but they shouldn’t make a big deal out of it because someone else has it worse. Pain is pain, and just because one person is hurting from a minor situation does not mean that it is any less valid than someone else’s. Discrediting someone’s experience can make them feel worse and do the opposite of what positivity is supposed to bring.
Instead of feeling obligated to be positive all the time, learn how to sit with your pain. Doing this will teach you more than positivity ever could, and you will learn how to cope with negative emotions in your life healthily. Feeling down is normal, and it would be unusual if something negative happened to you and you didn’t feel down. Acknowledge what you are feeling and allow yourself to feel it. This will help you become more comfortable with your emotions over time and provide a more in-depth insight into yourself as a person.
Toxic positivity is a genuine problem in the United States today, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many individuals struggle with their mental health as of late, and toxic positivity is doing nothing to help it. Positivity becomes toxic when it doesn’t allow the space for negative emotions or the sharing of someone’s experiences. You can alienate others and make them feel worse by not allowing negativity into your space. NorthStar Transitions has seen the rise of toxic positivity on social media, and we want to help put a stop to it. We are a big proponent of acknowledging your feelings because we know that they are always trying to tell us something deeper. Our programs can help you become more in tune with your inner self and heal the pain that has affected you. Call us today at (303) 558-6400 to learn more about our program. Your healing journey begins at NorthStar.
