February, what some people call the “love month,” can be difficult when individuals feel that love is a losing game. Valentine’s Day tends to disappoint some people because seeing other people happy and in love when they're still single can be tough. This can bring feelings of loneliness and heartache to the forefront of people's minds and make this cold month even harder to get through.
If you want to get the most out of February or Valentine’s Day, making quality connections can help you battle your love blues. You've seen the benefit of support groups in addiction recovery, so you can apply that sense of connection and community to other friend groups when it feels like love is a losing battle.
Our world is built off of competition, and participating in competition, even if you're the only one who knows it, can create an illusion of self-satisfaction. More often than not, though, the sweetest victories are ones achieved by a team. There are some sports and some victories that a single individual can achieve, but more achievements are gained by working together.
The same goes for addiction recovery, as well as in love. You've learned through the recovery process how vital it is to have other people on your side who can vouch for you and help you through tough times. Why should beating loneliness be any different? You need people around you to help you get bigger wins, to beat back the darkness of feeling alone, and maybe even to help you find love.
Achieving a healthier lifestyle is only won with collaborated goals and connections. You learn in addiction treatment to combat your previous lifestyle, habits, and mindsets, where you competed with yourself. Essentially you are in a war with yourself, and the way to win is to open yourself to let someone else in to fight with you to achieve victory. When love feels like an uphill battle, try opening yourself up, either to a friend to help keep the loneliness at bay or to a potential romantic partner.
The same tactics learned in addiction recovery are used with love. You can't find love when you push aside your feelings and don't open up. It is vital to express your feelings and emotions so you know how to navigate them when love feels obsolete or misplaced. When you learn to show your feelings, practice patience, and implement daily habits to relax, your mindset develops a deeper understanding of yourself.
Loving yourself is essential to addiction recovery; learning to love others and practicing acceptance is equally important. If you don't love yourself, you'll have a hard time letting others love you the way you should be loved. Maybe this Valentine's Day is a chance to love yourself, and let that be the starting point to finding someone to love next year.
Often when individuals leave addiction recovery treatment, battling isolation and sadness rise and create a secret war inside their head, leading to potential relapse. It may be hard for you to look past your mistakes and feel worthy of love. If you feel lonely, isolated, or unloved, know you’re not alone. Getting sober proves you have the strength to make big changes. Finding ways to increase the positivity in your life will help you battle the secret war.
Even if you're single, February and Valentine’s Day do not need to be a month ignored, but rather a month filled with re-igniting relationships with others who have been through similar situations. You can observe the day of love by connecting and celebrating with recovery peers or supportive friends.
When you create cooperative relationships and develop respect with others, you start to eliminate feelings of isolation. Your connections with people made in treatment can all help create a permanent solution to fighting and winning the war over substance use and, by extension, finding love. You deserve companionship as much as you deserved to clean up your life. Start building relationships with these people, and you just might find love along the way.
There will be times after treatment when you can learn to savor solitude and find happiness within yourself. When sadness or loneliness starts to creep into your mind, practicing gratitude is a perfect antidote. Finding things you're already happy with in your life will lead to more overall satisfaction. Valentine’s Day does not need to be about a romantic relationship with another but can be a day to deepen your relationship with yourself.
At NorthStar Transitions, we believe love does not need to be an uphill battle. When it feels like you're on the losing side of love, you can find companionship and satisfaction within yourself or your circle of friends. By practicing gratitude, spending time getting to know and love yourself, and finding fulfillment in friend relationships, Valentine's Day doesn't have to feel lonely. At NorthStar Transitions, we want to help you be happy in any situation. February and Valentine’s Day do not need to be problematic times, but ones that you can turn around to enjoy. If you feel you still have a hard time battling the war of love or loneliness has put your sobriety in danger, our team is here for you. We can help you navigate the emotional roller coaster of this time of year and turn every day into one that is progressive and happy. For more information, call (303) 558-6400.
